I'm getting the vision back

I'm on ambien right now so the thoughts may not come together perfectly.

it's been 4 years since I started this. Out of a heartbreaking loss and a renewed sense of ambition. I spent a decent year here, though feeling quite depleted and depressed with the loss of a love. Then I went up to Canada, where I spent some crazy times and by all accounts thought I was better than anyone else. In my second year there, with Arto Joel Sheldon Willie and Scott and Tobias and Masha and Yann I started to enjoy things again. I saw what a good life with good friendships was again (it had been a few years, except for Ann and sometimes Sergio).

I was a tough few years. Lonesome. Feelings of in some ways being behind.

There was very little excitement. Very little vision or joy. I'd stay up nights, escape into games, do what i could to create a sense of joy and lightheartedness in my life. Now I can see it happening during daytime hours.

I'm about to take off. It's terrifying. It's something I can't see myself doing in the past, but now I'm going to take off and let the winds take me. I will be successful and I will be earning some big money in the next few months, and certainly in 2009.

Dave